Saturday, April 23, 2016

Movie Review - Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

I've done a few movie reviews in the past, and I think I'll pick them up again. They won't be pretty, and they won't be professional. But they WILL be honest.

Before I spew a giant wall of text, I'll come clean, I'm primarily a Marvel Comics and Independent comics guy. But!!!!! I DO love Batman (most of the comics runs have been fantastic and I've been reading them for years), and some of the Superman runs hold a place close to my heart.

Now, onto the wall of text...

There were parts of the movie that I LOVED, standing on their own, apart from the rest of the movie, because the movie as a whole is BROKEN. I'll give some specific thoughts without going into spoilers (because people can read this before seeing the movie, though I really suggest they don't... see the movie).

Ben Affleck was phenomenal as Batman, and frankly, I had my doubts going in. I believed. He WAS Bruce Wayne, he WAS the Dark Knight. Boy got RIPPED for the role too. And Jeremy Irons was a sassy MF Alfred.

The BvS fight was AWESOME, even if the story that led to there rang false because there wasn't enough of it to make it matter.

Gal Godot IS Wonder Woman, and there simply wasn't enough of her. I can't wait for her stand alone movie.

The reveals of C, F, and A were just right (though I do have issues with some of the hand wavy around some of it). I can't wait to see A's movie right along with Wonder Woman's.

And that's the entirety of what I loved about the movie.

Zack Snyder gets a rainbow sticker, because he seems to have learned how to break up long-ass fight scenes so I don't get too bored, which is an improvement. But then I'm going to light that sticker on fire because he can't tell a coherent story.

And then there's the stuff that just blew bloody little goat chunks.

Henry Cavill is a pretty damned good actor, but we're not allowed to actually give a damn about him in this movie (or the last). There was so much potential for the whole story around "do we need Superman" and what that says about us, but it seems like Snyder got bored with it partway through and just started smashing his toys around. The explosion, you know the one I'm talking about, was a great opportunity, and the story started to ask the right questions, and then seems to have dropped them.

The dreams... WTF is up with them? Completely unnecessary and so BADLY done. Were these just Zack Snyder spending all the money they could throw at him?

There's the unnecessary "origin story" one at the beginning of the movie? Remember how it ends? With a certain physics defying act? There's no lead in that it's a dream and not a memory, that gets revealed in a voice over.... yay?

The post-apocalypse one from the trailer? Why? If the supposed purpose was to show how Bruce was tortured by a dystopian vision of what unchecked power can do? So he has a reason to go down a dark path? Meanwhile he's running around unchecked himself? Ben Affleck can act. Let him. The little discussion Bruce had with Alfred did fine on its own.

Then there's the illogical car chase stuff, and the over-equipping of bad guys. Who uses a heavily armed convoy of private contractors to covertly transport/smuggle something into a city? Way to fly under the radar... and there's a part near the beginning of that chase where the hero,
A) stands somewhere really stupid to do something really simple, (because it's dramatic?), and
B) does something no one would do if they were trying to move fast. Do you drop anchor on a ship and drag it behind you if you're trying to catch something? Oh, but look, it magically came in handy... good thing our hero has some sort of bat-precognition.

The final fight scene, how nice that they gave us time to breathe and a few lighter moments that were robbed of their levity by the trailers (haha, is she with you?). It's nice that Snyder watched the Avengers movies, isn't it?

Also... kudos to Perry White, the most powerful journalistic (illuminati) editor in the world. Despite the fact that "no one reads the newspaper any more" he can fly his ONE reporter all over the world, AND serve up a helicopter "ON THE ROOF" at a moment's notice... damn that man's got power.

And last, the part of the movie that drove me batty (pun intended) was Eisenberg's Luthor. Who would let that man do ANYTHING? Oh, wait... maybe it's an allegory, where Lex Luthor is a stand in for Zach Snyder, and the authorities in the world around him are stand ins for DC/WB?

I give it 3 stars, out of 10. There were some absolutely awesome elements to the movie (see what I loved above), but there's just too much crap and garbage packed around it.

It earns the distinction of being the first movie below the threshold of suck on my Movie List

1 comment:

  1. Yes it was flawed, yes it had its problems, but I myself enjoyed Batman vs Superman. It was fun and action filled, and though I know not everyone liked Lex Luther, I really enjoyed Jesse Eisenberg's portrayal.